Wells Fargo’s New ‘Trust’ Ad

Last night – casually watching the end of my 76ers finally get a win in their gut wrenching series versus Boston and their amazing coach (more on this later) … and then we cut to commercial … and then I see here comes a half-baked (another) attempt at an apology by the country’s most hated bank (today) – good ol’ Wells Fargo. First take away, how the heck do you apologize, and somehow even mess that up? They literally speak for the first half all about how trustworthy they were, and finally, they pivot to what they did. They then use one fact, which is retail employees in branches don’t have sales goals and now we are all supposed to believe that makes it right? Excuse me! Are you crazy? Let’s break this all down. I hope you have time. First off, this apology is like a husband who gets caught cheating on his wife after twenty years of marriage. He apologizes by saying, hey, I was so trustworthy for the first part (before ya caught me) and now I’m sorry because I won’t go after other woman anymore. Like, seriously? No. It’s not that easy.

Second, and more importantly, all is well just because sales goals are gone? Was it sales goals for retail employees making less than $15 per hour who brought down Wells Fargo? You really want to tell America that? You want to tell the country on national TV that had the employee you hired and managed and trained didn’t go rogue all would be right with you company? What. The. Fuck. Literally.

Hey Wells Fargo here’s a list for you in case you forgot. And apparently you did. Was it retail branch employees who wanted to hit sales goals the same people who….

1) targeted minorities in Baltimore and Philadelphia by providing them mortgages you knew they couldn’t pay back?

2) unlawfully repossessed vehicles from hardworking Americans all over the county because you illegally put insurance policies attached to their loans that you knew they couldn’t pay back?

3) was it a rogue branch employee who crept into your foreign exchange division and completed illegal trades requiring swift termination once it leaked to you and the SEC?

4) what about the credit cards you decided to enroll people in without their knowledge?

5) was it a retail branch employee who was managing brokerage accounts in your Phoenix market and training your advisors to make retirees rollover their low cost 401ks to your high fee IRAs?

Wow Wells Fargo – these retail branch employees obviously were only motivated by your sales goals and lied, cheated, and stole to ruin a customers financial life across the board.

Your arrogance is pitiful. Your ignorance is shameful. Your managing of this crisis is intermediate at best. You are in over your heads. You cannot control your own company. You know it. The Fed knows it. Wall Street knows it. The only person who won’t say it, but knows it, is Buffett. You should thank Satan everyday that the false God (Oracle of Omaha) has your back, because it’s the only lifeline you have.

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